“Hey, little bro! Life’s Tough. Get a helmet.”
These words have been ringing in my head for the past few days. I feel like I should maybe spend some time writing something truly beautiful about the days since Dad passed, my feelings, etc, but I am just going to jump right in because THIS is how I feel. Not like MY life is tough, but like everyone else seems to think that their’s is! GET A HELMET PEOPLE!
I grew up watching Boy Meets World and I miss the days where a cute, family sitcom actually taught lessons about love, real life, sex, drugs, the importance of family, values, and a whole Feeny-load of other things. I love how in this episode, Eric brings out this zinger. Life’s tough. Get a helmet. This message, so many years past middle school woes, still rings clear. Life is tough. Real life, a Christian life, is tough. It’s not “fair” and it’s certainly not easy. The Savior that we follow was a man or sorrows and we are, by definition, imitators of Him, so why do we expect our lives to be easy? Let’s talk.
We are driven, and often disappointed by, our purpose. Thank you, Mr. Rick Warren. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the book, honestly I read it in high school and don’t remember a thing about it. But as Christians, sometimes we become caught up in our purpose. But that’s a good thing, right? Let me say it again. Sometimes we get caught up in our purpose. If I had a dollar for the number of Christian people (including myself, obviously) I hear saying “I want this really holy thing, I am called to this or that (marriage, sanctification in this specific way, the mission field, motherhood, sports ministry, you know what I’m talking about) and God just isn’t opening the doors! I just don’t understand! It’s a very holy thing!” I would be a million-gazillionaire. We are blinded by our own limited understanding of what God’s purpose for us is. Ultimately, He doesn’t owe us an explanation. He gave you the gift of life, and in the words of Legolas, “You owe him your allegiance.” HIS purpose supersedes your purpose. Trust him and he will direct your life and give you joy. Understand that what you want isn’t necessarily what He has purposed for you. Youth pastors and well meaning older ladies love to tell you that “He has something even better,” but you have to understand that the context is within HIS will. He has something better according to the plans He has for you, but it might not be what you want, or feel called to. Being single and desiring a spouse is no fun. Being married and barren is no fun. Being married to a weak spouse and desiring a holy union is no fun. Losing the love of your life to a crushing disease is no fun. BUT if you are walking in any of these valleys today, let me encourage you: God did not turn his back on you. He is walking with you and whatever happens is a part of your purpose in life. Be encouraging to others, find your sole joy in the Lord, look beyond yourself and your purpose and stop blaming God for not allowing you to live it out. Invest in the purpose that He gives you each day: living for Him and dying to yourself (and your “purpose”).
“Well this one thing is bound to go wrong because, well, it’s my crazy life and everything goes wrong.” This attitude is SUPER popular right now. Everyone has the worst life ever and no one will ever understand because no one else’s life could possibly be as bad. You get lost on your way to a job interview, you burn dinner because the baby is eating a raw chicken out of the trash and pulling out the pots, you are rear ended and get whip lash and a few bruises, your insurance won’t cover the medication you need for your new (and rare) health condition, blame it on your awful life. As I mentioned above, God gave you life, and He gave you a wonderful life. I’m truly sorry and my heart hurts for people who live in poverty, abuse, illnesses and injuries. God loves you and if you have breath in your body, your earthly life is precious to Him. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and He knows the number of your days, even the number of hair’s on your head. We are all sinners and we are living the horrible result of the Fall through the daily toil and heartbreak. But we, as Christ followers, need to stop living as if we have no hope. Your life is not a horrible mess, if you have a friend in Jesus. You have life and you have freedom. You can live every day without a fear of death or condemnation! I feel like everything else shifts into a smaller focus if you think of your life like that. So try to think of your life like that. Instead of “Oh Em Geeeeeee, my life is soooooo hard! No one else has a life like mine! I’m so curssssed!” or “I just feel like DYING” try “Thank you Lord for giving me life and for holding this in your hands, even though I don’t understand.” Once you start shifting the focus off of how your flesh feels to where God is providing and just the fact that He is good, I’ll bet you start to develop patience, joy, peace, self control and gentleness and a heart of gratitude. I learned this the hard way and am still learning this. I have to decide each day that I am going to work to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in my life and to focus my attention on my Savior and off of myself.
I love “The Sound of Music,” so I’m leading off with some lyrics: “Me, a name, I call myself...” Ahhh, me, me, me, me, me, me, me me me me. I am my very own favorite thing! Let’s just be real. I don’t care if you are a strong Christian, you are selfish sometimes. I have noticed that usually, when people face hard times, they feel entitled to be self focused. If you are facing a loss, financial struggles, a heartbreak, or anything else, and you have thought even one time that you don’t deserve it, your life is worse than anyone else’s or you should not have to go through this, then you are in the wrong headspace to grow. I say this to my sweet husband all the time “You deserve to die and go to hell.” If you have ever sinned, according to the laws of this world, you deserve nothing more than hell, so anything beyond that is just a bonus. Thank God for your life and for your eternity! Moving on! Your life is not worse than anyone else’s. It may be worse than it has ever been before, but, yeah I know this is cliche, someone else is worse off than you. It’s true. And I am not coming from a rosy place in life. My life is hard most days and I struggle with self pity, but I know that it is the ultimate act of selfishness to decide that my life is worse than someone else’s. Instead, try putting others first. Do you think that if Jesus had worried about his own comfort and safety that he would have been able to endure the life that he chose? I don’t. I think that he lived and he died and he rose because he was only concerned for others. Live for someone else and your life, and by extension your problems, begin to fade. And finally, if you are going through something crappy, you should be going through it. It is going to be used to sanctify your heart and help you identify with Christ in a whole new way. Going back to a point I made earlier, Jesus was a man who was humbled, humiliated, hurt, and rejected. He experienced loss and temptation and he was killed. And he chose to experience all of those things to save my sorry, whiny, self focused butt from eternal separation from God. You are privileged to face trials of all kinds because you have a chance to walk closer to Jesus than you possibly could when everything is going swimmingly.
We live in a place where we feel like we are above tough lives. Parent’s work harder than ever to give their children a better life, a better future and to protect them from the anything not wonderful. Christians are no exception to this movement to solve the “tough life crisis.” No one wants a tough life, so we run trying to avoid it and when our lives begin to shift through the sanctifying hands of our Father, we are confused, angry, and often times, hopeless. Accept this fact: Life is tough. BUT we do have an answer! Get a helmet! Eph. says “Take the helmet of Salvation....” So I close with this final thought. When life is tough, you fasten that helmet on your head. You protect your mind from selfishness and cover your ears with the Salvation of the Lord. He died so that you could be saved and His salvation, that you are already benefitting from is the protection that you need to make it through another day. It’s not a self help book, it’s not some “me time,” it’s not some 3 step program. It’s embracing the salvation that is yours and clinging to the God who gave it to you.
Love.
