For close to 10 years I have thought about blogging, but there were 3 things that kept me from starting up.
1. My pride. Let's just be real, how lame is this? To "blog" about my life as if everyone in the world cares. I used to dream of becoming a writer and this just seemed like the illegitimate child of the writing career I was not destined to have.
2. My insecurities. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will look around my big head, you will see to your left, my smallish side. My insecurities. Don't judge, you know you've got them too. Behind all of that vibrato and to do with "my writing career" there is a part of me that KNOWS that you won't like me. Not all of me. Not my writing style, or my topics, or *gasp* my feelings, or my passion. And what if I am just crazy? And I completely and totally fail at writing? I don't want to see my page on a "30 SeCOndS of BlOg fAiLs" video... What if I am deluded into thinking that I can sort of write, but when I put it out here, it turns out that I am really bad. And all of you in the internets will be looking at me and laughing! And it will be high school nightmares all over again! And then I am completely pitiful. And do I really want to go there?
3. This post. It's so daunting to try and think up a blog post for the first time. You know, you really want your first time to be special. And about something that you really care about, and that you understand. And something that you will cherish forever. For example, I was cooking dinner and made up this A-mazing (*DING, there goes my pride again!) sugar free banana cream pie. It was exceptional and all natural. And I was like "If I had a blog, I would totes blog about this. Uh, but I don't have a blog. And that would be stupid. I would be all 'I'm starting a blog for the sole purpose of celebrating this banana pie' and I don't want to be that blogger girl."... ... ...so that was me NOT blogging about the pie...
And now for the conclusion. I figure that if you have stuck with me so far, you deserve to hear how this was all resolved.
1. Pride is not a reason to do or not to do anything. And clearly, because of all of the success of my novels and papers and blah blah blahs (eh NOT!), I have no reason to scorn this blog thing. Also, I read blogs. And I like the bloggers. So maybe the cool kids are doing that these days.
2. Maybe 5 people will see this. Maybe. Come on, linz, get out of your head. The entire world doesn't revolve around you. You see, my writing is mine. I think about what I say and write, most of the time, so when it is mocked or not good enough, then I am not good enough. But really, if all 5 readers hate it, then I will switch it to private and keep a journal that maybe my mischievous children or nieces and nephews will read.
3. I just had to go for it. There's never a good time to start a blog. It's always going to be a project, or a story, or a political stand. So this is my first post.
This is me. I am married, mostly happily :-), with a job in a church office. My hubs and I also own our own business, which is about 1000 hours a week. We met at a ball, he asked me to dance, which fit into the fairy tale thing I have always fantasized and obsessed over. I am a Christ servant, bound to him because he loved me enough to save me. That's my choice and I'm not sorry if that offends you. You don't offend me, so we are cool. You're STILL reading my blog, so you're pretty much my best friend at this point!
I think that's all I have today. Blog post #1, done.
